Things I have learned

He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. - Job 2:10

Wow ... what a week? On July 31st I was told that I needed to have my gall bladder removed, but more importantly that it looked like I had pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to ...

All I could think was "How much time did I have left?" and "How could God do this?" I mean, I just got married, Yadith's uncle past away, I already had surgery, and Yadith being diagnosed with thyroid cancer - ll in the last four months. Are you kidding? This as well?

So many things went through my mind in those last few days. I discovered so many things about myself, many of them that I didn't like. After struggling for weeks with everything, this was the last straw; I couldn't bear any more. I finally gave up; I finally gave it all to God.

Isn't it funny that we think we have control over anything? Isn't it funny how we are so proud? Who am I that I think I can tell God what to do? Who am I that I think I can manipulate our Lord?

I tried to manipulate God; how many know that this is really not a great idea and it certainly doesn't work?

It took me several weeks to learn and to surrender.

Just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it is not the best way. Just because I am hurting does not mean that God does not love me; perhaps just the opposite. Thank you Vince for your wisdom, experience, and knowledge. Thank you Lord for not leaving me; in fact just the opposite. Thank you Lord for loving me so much.

I can't believe it took all of this to get my attention. I made a commitment several years ago to God; I accepted Christ as my Saviour. Maybe I should say He accepted me. I made my prayer Galations 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." But yet I found many character flaws these past several weeks; I do not like them, and I pray and ask that the Lord helps me change them.

How can I be so unfaithful Lord? Yet you still love me so much! How can I say such thing about you? Yet you still love me so!

I need surgery, my wife needs surgery, and I have a kidney problem - yes, but I will praise you Lord. I will thank you for what all you have given me - I am yours! Thank you for bringing me back. Thank you for not forgetting about your servant. Thank you for humbling me.

This is the perfect opportunity for me to decrease and you to increase - may this be evident in my life. May You be evident in my life.